Artiste

Artiste (real name: Alfredo Mountbatten-Windsor [no relation] Tesco Garlic Bread Casciano) or Artistè for those with easily accessible accent keys on their keyboard, is an Italian designer, model, sommelier and entrepreneur. He is most known for his artistic ability, creating abtract landscape pieces, as well as bustling cityscape photography. His work is seen on the cover of Boujee In Bordeaux, depicting the plane Dubs and Chubs took to fly to Bordeaux as the titular track states.

Life and career
Artiste was born in Florence and quickly made a name for himself once he was able to draw with his piece: ' sonig hedhoge he runing arownd'. Contemporary artists agreed this piece signified a new era for modern art. After this explosion in recognition, Artiste was commissioned for many other pieces by the Uffizi Gallery, including his pieces ' good n eval' , ' sonig pregante'  and ' ''sonig dyes!!! oh noe!!!!'''. These pieces were highlighted by the fine art community as 'beacons to the current human condition and our progression as a society'.After his acclaimed artwork Artiste looked to expand into other mediums in creative industry, in particular fashion designing. At the Paris Fashion Show, Lady Gaga commissioned artiste to create a unique piece that would grab the attention of the audience with its beauty. Artiste presented Gaga with 'flanelle'. Gaga immediately fainted, and engineers had to implant robotic parts into the dress in order to control her catwalk while she was passed out like Weekend at Bernie's. Artiste deemed this attire 'too good for people' and retired immediately from the fashion industry. He gained a qualification in wine tasting, however inhaled so much wine through his nostril that he believed he was French. This is a very rare psychological condition called 'Alors! Je suis francais! Hon hon hon! Syndrome' and effects one in 300,000 people. He also made some self-admittedly dicey business decisions, including but not limited to:


 * NFT Monster Energy, a company that provides you with a jpg of a Monster can.
 * Marajuana Caviar
 * Horizontal Pringles
 * Reverse Ovens
 * Socks for your hands
 * Minimalist rulers (no numbers)